I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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