In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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