i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
