I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
