we're blogging at a bar
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
