my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
