You made me cry and you don't even care
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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