Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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