census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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