I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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