is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
