why im i the only drunk person in the library?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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