He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
