apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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