And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
