Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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