I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My ass is underappreciated
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
