whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
