If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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