K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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