Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
