You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
