lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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