im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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