I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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