the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
