I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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