I got chris browned last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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