She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
