bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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