his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
