she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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