I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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