I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
