How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
50% drunk capacity currently
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
