I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
