Who wears a wallet chain?!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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