Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
