Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
