dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i barfeds in our rink
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
