I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We are all done wearing pants today
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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