dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
