Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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