OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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