hell yes lets make some ravioli
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
