We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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