Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
