Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
