the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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