I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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