summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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