I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
