He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am naked and annoyed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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