A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
