Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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