Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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