Me. At least after what I've been through.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
